Playing Favorites
by Danko Kaji
Summary: A series of random one-shots having to do with Baralai - dabble number four: five ways to keep Vidina occupied /implied Yunalai/
1. I

Excuse my randomness with this one-shot, but I just _had_ to write something! XP

This is based on the _five ways, five reasons, five things_ theme in livejournal, and I wanted to create my own version.

* * *

[five reasons why Baralai likes Yuna]

**1.**

"Her chest is kinda... small," Gippal mumbled thoughtfully, making a gesture of holding imaginary boobs. Nooj couldn't resist the urge to roll his eyes. When Gippal had proposed the idea (out of boredom) that they should interrogate Baralai to learn what is it about Yuna that attracted him, this wasn't what Nooj was going for.

**2. **

Several death glares later: "Oh! Oh! I know! She wears the pants in the relationship, doesn't she?"

**3.**

Yuna was endearing to a fault; whenever she'd do something clumsy like crack a bad joke or fail an attempt at cooking, Baralai would laugh on the inside, but maintain a pokerface in case it'd hurt her feelings.

**4.**

"In the worst case scenario that Baralai goes missing, we can always count on Yuna to spend every waking hour looking for him until she grows up to be an old woman."

Nooj just had to point out, "I think you're confusing loyalty for obsession."

**5.**

She'll always be a human being before a demigod, and to Baralai that's all that mattered.


	2. II

This chapter is _gold_! XD I love it. Aniki says fuck in here somewhere... -shifty eyes- XD

I honestly think Baralai and Aniki would make the _bestest _of buddies. Lolz This is for you Razer. XDXDXD

* * *

[five ways Brother and Baralai bond]

**1.**

"Can you please pass the salt?"

"No."

"...can you not pass the salt, please?"

"No– no, um, yes, I mean, no– _vilg!– _I will NOT pass the salt!"

**2.**

Brother was busy wrenching a stubborn screw into place when Baralai happened to walk by and politely offered some assistance. Because Yuna was watching, he accepted. Butterfingers, awkward apologies, and a dubious knowledge on machina– a bonk on the head from Brother's favorite ranch was Baralai's reward.

**3.**

Brother challenged Baralai to a fight– _a man's fight_– and said with the cockiness of a chocobo whoever wins could have Yuna.

Five seconds hadn't even passed when Baralai sucker punched him with an invisible fist; a basic gravity spell with too much oomph.

It goes without saying, there was no contest.

**4.**

"I don't think Brother likes me," Baralai said, all sad and pouting, at a loss what to do.

"You don't have to sulk for too long, B'man." Gippal grinned in diabolical glee. "I got the perfect solution. Buy him a gift, say... accessories made of gold. _Lots_ of em. Bangles, rings, earrings, pendants– you name it! Brother _loves_ stuff like that!"

How was Baralai supposed to know Brother had an allergic skin reaction to any metal pertaining to gold?

**5.**

"What is with your girly hair and girly face? You look like a _girl_." Brother sneered, proud of his articulate insults.

"Are you trying to say I'm pretty?"

"..."

Disarming smile. "Why, thank you."

A heart-warming, one-sided squabble between two friends– too bad Brother didn't see it that way.


	3. III

Here comes more winbuckets of hilarity. And poking fun at Gippal. XD

I always pictured Paine and Baralai as an 'incompatible' pair, but an epic comedy duo. Lolz Again, this is for you, Razer, for giving me that awesome, LOL-worthy review. XD

* * *

[five things Paine teaches Baralai]

**1. **_(how to wield a gun)_

"You see that dot _waaay _out into the distance? Yeah? The monkey waving his arms at Nooj? Okay, aim for his ass."

**2. **_(how to be mean)_

Paine slapped Baralai's hand away. He glared. "This is _my _food."

"Exactly," she said, "Why eat your own when you can steal Gippal's?"

**3.** _(how to use a sphere-recorder)_

Glare. Glare. Scowl. "Stop looking at my chest." Frown. Blink. Blink.

"I'm not."

"...the recorder is still on, you idiot."

**4. **_(how to get the girl)_

The flowers, chocolates, and love letters made its home in the trashbin, courtesy of Dr. P. One thing lead to another, and before long...

"WHAT THE– OMGWTF– HOLY BAHAMUT– MY LITTLE YUNIE IS ALL GROWING UP!!!" That was Cid's reaction when he came back on the Celsius to see his niece on top of a boy with her shirt unbuttoned, and her skirt lying upside-down and inside-out on the floor.

**5.** _(the fastest way to die)_

Baralai searched for the closest escape route, and almost slammed his head against the dashboard when the airship violently lurched. "Do I _have_ to be here?" he squeaked, terrified for his life. The red flashing lights– **_WARNING! WARNING!– _**could not be a good sign.

"Yes." Paine rolled her eyes. "You are my _navigator_. Who else is gonna help me fly this thing?"

It's the bane of Baralai's existence, Paine's insanity.


	4. IV

Number 4 is here! YESH! I couldn't have done this one without you, Razer Athane. You inspired me. X3

Enjoy!

* * *

[five ways to keep Vidina occupied]

**1.**

Vidina bobbed up and down in midair, wriggling his pudgy limbs, giggling gurgles of laughter– until he vomited due to vertigo. Baralai's concentration broke right then and there.

****

2.

"What did you do?" The baby sported a big, swollen bump on his head and Wakka was _furious_, cradling his wailing son in his beefy, protective arms.

How could Baralai explain to the father he dropped Vidina while playing 'zero gravity'?

****

3.

Yuna smiled when she caught Baralai making funny faces at a googly-eyed Vidina, and wistfully wondered if Baralai would like to have children of his own. At the exasperated look on his face, with what Vidina yanking at his hair and pulling at his cheeks, Yuna could dream on.

****

4.

Nibble. Chew. Chomp. Chomp.

Baralai's collar became Vidina's new favorite pacifier, much to the man's dismay, and there was nothing he or his whole council of advisors could do about it.

****

5.

__

Ieyui ~ Nobomeno

Whispery as the silence, soothing as an angel's smile, Baralai sang a hymn abandoned by the betrayed– he being no different from them except for steadfast faith.

__

Renmiri ~ Yojuyogo

The eyelids soon close, dreams and stardust preserving the child's future.

__

Hasatekanae ~ Kutamae


End file.
